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#855582 - 11/19/08 10:48 AM Just a general opinion question...
Jezabelle Jezabelle Registered: 01/10/06 Posts: 37	I have a 6 year old son, who has very long hair - almost down to his butt. He has been called a girl So many times, but he likes his hair and does not want to cut it. I dress him in very masculine clothes, and he looks nothing like a girl - but people continue to call him a girl. I am of mixed heritage, and his Dad is caucasion (very, he's pale and irish with dark hair) - and my son looks native (I have Sioux and Chippewa, along with many other cultures in my background). He has beautiful hair, and keep it tidy in a ponytail I have family members asking me when I'm going to MAKE him cut his hair, or they bug him about it! His father and I can't see what the big deal is, and figure when he's ready to cut it - we'll let him, and he can donate the hair. My question is - whats the general opinion? Should we be cutting his hair, because thats the common thing to do? Or should we continue to look at it like we are- it's only hair, it could be worse he could be asking for a tattoo at six - let him have some freedom and decide how he wants to wear it? _________________________ Proud Stay at Mom to 4 beautiful kids: Lucas, Echo, Atticus & Maddox
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#855590 - 11/19/08 10:54 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Jezabelle]
jennyt jennyt Registered: 02/11/06 Posts: 1861 Loc: Expat - living in Dublin for n...	Of course you shouldnt be cutting his hair, he loves it as you said! And its not as though you are preventing him to cut it, both you and your husband have agreed that when he wants to cut i the can. I'm sure kids can be cruel but i think its a great way to show your son that being himself, even if it isnt societally (is that a word) 'normal' is something to be celebrated. Good for you, btw, for not following the crowds and cutting his hair because you feel pressured to only beause of his gender. _________________________ ----------- Please excuse my horrendous typos...I really DO know how to spell! It' s just hard with a toddler climbing on me! http://planetjen.wordpress.com/
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#855597 - 11/19/08 10:58 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: jennyt]
Kattnipp Kattnipp Registered: 09/24/05 Posts: 1145 Loc: In the zoo..	I would certainly not cut it and I would let people that are bugging know it is none of their business. If he is happy and you guys don't care why should everyone else.. Annette
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#855603 - 11/19/08 11:05 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Kattnipp]
ETs Mommy ETs Mommy In love with my Ergo Registered: 10/31/08 Posts: 2269 Loc: Warman Saskatchewan	I don't think you need to cut his hair. It is HIS hair. Just tell other people that its not their hair and they don't have to wear it! He likes it that way. Popular Hollywood Child There. Celine Dion's son has long hair too. He's just following a fashion trend $;\)$ _________________________ Moderator for Teen and Young Parents Co- Moderator for Chapter Chit Chat, Family Health and Women's Health
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#855604 - 11/19/08 11:06 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: jennyt]
Tookids Tookids Registered: 09/28/06 Posts: 3802 Loc: The Eye of the Storm	I agree with pp. Leave it the way it is. I'd just give it a 1" trim every once in a while to get rid of any split ends and keep it healthy. As long as he's happy with it and you're happy with it, everyone else should MYOB. I get the reverse with my DD. People "think" I/we should let hers grow longer. (She doesn't seem to care too much one way or another). I keep it short because she's prone to cradle cap-like issues and she hates having it brushed. She's got enough on her plate with some developmental delays that she doesn't need to have long hair added to her list of things to look after. _________________________ Emily Married Fall '99 DS Fall '02 DD Summer '04 "The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine." "However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results." - Winston Churchill "When the student is ready, the teacher arrives" - Zen proverb
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#855608 - 11/19/08 11:11 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Tookids]
littlemoonlight69 littlemoonl ight69 Registered: 07/22/03 Posts: 885 Loc: Pick any Army base, any Army b...	I agree with the pp that you should leave his hair. Your little guy likes it the way it is. _________________________ The life of an Army wife is for me.
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#855618 - 11/19/08 11:21 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: littlemoonlight69]
Photosprite Photosprite aka Momof4boys ... Looking for my sanity ... anyone seen it??? Registered: 08/20/05 Posts: 5611 Loc: Southern Ontario	DS#1 had long hair for the longest time, his was/is white blond thick and with a nice curl, I didn't want to cut it and as he got older we left it up to him. Sadly he was bugged and school and then decided he wanted to cut, I made sure he was ok with it and waited a little just incase. I had a cousin ask me "Who is the parent here? cut his hair" I said it is his choice not mine... So I guess I am saying don't cut it tell he wants it done. _________________________ Moderator, Christmas Club and Twins and Multiples...... Wife to loving Husband since May 24, 1997 DS1 June 25, 1999, DS2 June 11, 2001, DS3 & 4 January 30, 2006
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#855627 - 11/19/08 11:35 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: littlemoonlight69]
2sparrows 2sparrows Registered: 11/10/06 Posts: 4429	My DS has a friend who has had long hair, just like his daddy. He was of mixed heritage. I think he looked cool and no way could you mistaken him for a girl. I am sure he got that a lot though. This kid was always clean and well groomed. When he cut it, I felt sad in a way. I am hoping it was not because of pressure from society. DS likes his hair short. He has had it longish but gets frustrated with it and gets it buzzed. When it has had it long, he got the mistaken for a girl too and it was not even down his back. He has fine features so that automatically pegs him as feminine. That is not the reason he likes it short though. He does look good in the short gelled style. I would have DD decked out to pink from head to toe and people would still ask if she was a girl. In preschool, I left her in the care of someone not quite as responsible as I thought and came home after an hour to an almost hairless girl. It was so cute short, i loved it. I would love for her to cut her hair and keep it short but she loves her hair long, so long it is. I am okay with whatever she chooses. If she ever wanted to dye it, i would have to swallow my opinions, only because I have never dyed my hair. _________________________ DS - who changed my life forever in 1994 DD - who made my life complete in 1997
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#855630 - 11/19/08 11:37 AM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Photosprite]
Jezabelle Jezabelle Registered: 01/10/06 Posts: 37	When confronted by family and strangers even, I usually tell them that he likes it long and eventually he'll be donating it (if he wants to)! He is so calm when he's called a girl, he usually just corrects them - "it happens sometimes" is usually what he says...LOL! Much calmer than I think I'd be! He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't! Thanks for the replies! _________________________ Proud Stay at Mom to 4 beautiful kids: Lucas, Echo, Atticus & Maddox
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#855682 - 11/19/08 12:25 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Jezabelle]
2manyguys2009 2manyguys20 09 Registered: 10/28/07 Posts: 4309 Loc: Theodore, SK	The length of hair does not bother me at all, but that is so cruel of how people should tell us and our kids how to wear our hair "as is". My brother may have long strawberry hair but it never bothers me at all. One time, a few months before DH and I met, he sported a mohawk look and everyone looked at him STRANGELY. Good grief, let them wear the way they want! _________________________ Yes, I do have a CPO blog spot, A Normal, boring woman as usual,.............. http://blog.canadianparents.com/punkyboy2006/ Moderator for the Slow Cooker Cub
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#855698 - 11/19/08 12:51 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Jezabelle]
frazzled frazzled Registered: 02/04/05 Posts: 6695 Loc: BC	Quote: My question is - whats the general opinion? Should we be cutting his hair, because thats the common thing to do? Or should we continue to look at it like we are- it's only hair, it could be worse he could be asking for a tattoo at six - let him have some freedom and decide how he wants to wear it? I think you would be sending the wrong message even to try to convince him to cut his hair before he is ready to. Peer pressure to conform? Not a good message IMO. Hair is the first freedom they get, really, at least in this house it was. I think I'd even be stretched to talk him out of it if that was his reason for wanting to cut his own hair. But, he's obviously stronger than that, he has what's called resilience, if he is able to shut out or laugh off the comments about him being a girl. On that issue, I would talk with the school principal, let him know this is happening, and ask him if he will talk with the kids about cultural diversity, and personal choice. They could all use that lesson, even if it's been done before. _________________________ Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855700 - 11/19/08 12:52 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Jezabelle]
Cornflake Girl Cornflake Girl Babe In Total Control of Herself Registered: 08/26/05 Posts: 10198 Loc: sk	If he likes it and you guys like it absolutely leave it the way it is, it's not hurting anyone. _________________________ Moderator for: Family & Relationships Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be. ~ Charles Jones I’d rather burn with desire deep in my soul, And love like a fire that’s out of control, I’d live my whole life with a sense of abandon, Squeeze every drop out no matter what happens. And not wonder what I've missed Oh I just can’t resist, The chance to risk ~ Paul Brandt
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#855705 - 11/19/08 12:54 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: ETs Mommy]
frazzled frazzled Registered: 02/04/05 Posts: 6695 Loc: BC	I believe Jesus Christ had long hair too! _________________________ Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855708 - 11/19/08 12:57 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Photosprite]
frazzled frazzled Registered: 02/04/05 Posts: 6695 Loc: BC	Quote: I had a cousin ask me "Who is the parent here? cut his hair" I said it is his choice not mine... Some of us are still stuck in the paradigm that we control our kids. This is one example of how we can use our non-control to teach life lessons. It's also an example of how to give some power and control to the child, when the issue doesn't affect the parents. If we allow them to choose the colour of their jammies at 3, what goes into their sandwich at 5, etc, then they will be better prepared to make those tough choices as teenagers. My paradigm is that my role as a parent is more about teaching than controlling. _________________________ Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855718 - 11/19/08 01:01 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: Jezabelle]
frazzled frazzled Registered: 02/04/05 Posts: 6695 Loc: BC	Quote: He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't! What a great child you have there! I'm busting with pride for him, and I don't even know him! He's a great example for his peers! _________________________ Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855790 - 11/19/08 02:40 PM Re: Just a general opinion question... [Re: frazzled]
QTsMom QTsMom Registered: 06/07/05 Posts: 3203 Loc: Ontario	Originally Posted By: frazzled Quote: He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't! What a great child you have there! I'm busting with pride for him, and I don't even know him! He's a great example for his peers! I agree! Great kid! _________________________ Moderator - Toddlers Board
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