#855582 - 11/19/08 10:48 AM
Just a general opinion question...
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Jezabelle
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 37
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I have a 6 year old son, who has very long hair - almost down to his butt. He has been called a girl So many times, but he likes his hair and does not want to cut it. I dress him in very masculine clothes, and he looks nothing like a girl - but people continue to call him a girl. I am of mixed heritage, and his Dad is caucasion (very, he's pale and irish with dark hair) - and my son looks native (I have Sioux and Chippewa, along with many other cultures in my background). He has beautiful hair, and keep it tidy in a ponytail
I have family members asking me when I'm going to MAKE him cut his hair, or they bug him about it! His father and I can't see what the big deal is, and figure when he's ready to cut it - we'll let him, and he can donate the hair.
My question is - whats the general opinion? Should we be cutting his hair, because thats the common thing to do? Or should we continue to look at it like we are- it's only hair, it could be worse he could be asking for a tattoo at six - let him have some freedom and decide how he wants to wear it?
_________________________
Proud Stay at Mom to 4 beautiful kids:
Lucas, Echo, Atticus & Maddox
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#855590 - 11/19/08 10:54 AM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Jezabelle]
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jennyt
Registered: 02/11/06
Posts: 1949
Loc: Expat - living in Dublin for n...
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Of course you shouldnt be cutting his hair, he loves it as you said! And its not as though you are preventing him to cut it, both you and your husband have agreed that when he wants to cut i the can.
I'm sure kids can be cruel but i think its a great way to show your son that being himself, even if it isnt societally (is that a word) 'normal' is something to be celebrated.
Good for you, btw, for not following the crowds and cutting his hair because you feel pressured to only beause of his gender.
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#855597 - 11/19/08 10:58 AM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: jennyt]
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Kattnipp
Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 1623
Loc: In the zoo..
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I would certainly not cut it and I would let people that are bugging know it is none of their business. If he is happy and you guys don't care why should everyone else..
Annette
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#855608 - 11/19/08 11:11 AM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Tookids]
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littlemoonlight69
Registered: 07/22/03
Posts: 885
Loc: Pick any Army base, any Army b...
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I agree with the pp that you should leave his hair. Your little guy likes it the way it is.
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#855618 - 11/19/08 11:21 AM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: littlemoonlight69]
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Photosprite
aka Momof4boys ... Looking for my sanity ... anyone seen it???
Registered: 08/20/05
Posts: 6660
Loc: Southern Ontario
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DS#1 had long hair for the longest time, his was/is white blond thick and with a nice curl, I didn't want to cut it and as he got older we left it up to him. Sadly he was bugged and school and then decided he wanted to cut, I made sure he was ok with it and waited a little just incase.
I had a cousin ask me "Who is the parent here? cut his hair" I said it is his choice not mine...
So I guess I am saying don't cut it tell he wants it done.
_________________________
Moderator, Christmas Club and Twins and Multiples......   Wife to loving Husband since May 24, 1997 DS1 June 25, 1999, DS2 June 11, 2001, DS3 & 4 January 30, 2006
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#855630 - 11/19/08 11:37 AM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Photosprite]
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Jezabelle
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 37
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When confronted by family and strangers even, I usually tell them that he likes it long and eventually he'll be donating it (if he wants to)! He is so calm when he's called a girl, he usually just corrects them - "it happens sometimes" is usually what he says...LOL! Much calmer than I think I'd be! He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't!
Thanks for the replies!
_________________________
Proud Stay at Mom to 4 beautiful kids:
Lucas, Echo, Atticus & Maddox
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#855682 - 11/19/08 12:25 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Jezabelle]
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anony
Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 4800
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The length of hair does not bother me at all, but that is so cruel of how people should tell us and our kids how to wear our hair "as is". My brother may have long strawberry hair but it never bothers me at all. One time, a few months before DH and I met, he sported a mohawk look and everyone looked at him STRANGELY. Good grief, let them wear the way they want!
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#855698 - 11/19/08 12:51 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Jezabelle]
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frazzled
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 6737
Loc: BC
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My question is - whats the general opinion? Should we be cutting his hair, because thats the common thing to do? Or should we continue to look at it like we are- it's only hair, it could be worse he could be asking for a tattoo at six - let him have some freedom and decide how he wants to wear it?
I think you would be sending the wrong message even to try to convince him to cut his hair before he is ready to. Peer pressure to conform? Not a good message IMO. Hair is the first freedom they get, really, at least in this house it was.
I think I'd even be stretched to talk him out of it if that was his reason for wanting to cut his own hair. But, he's obviously stronger than that, he has what's called resilience, if he is able to shut out or laugh off the comments about him being a girl.
On that issue, I would talk with the school principal, let him know this is happening, and ask him if he will talk with the kids about cultural diversity, and personal choice. They could all use that lesson, even if it's been done before.
_________________________
Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855705 - 11/19/08 12:54 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: LindsayLu]
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frazzled
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 6737
Loc: BC
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I believe Jesus Christ had long hair too!
_________________________
Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855708 - 11/19/08 12:57 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Photosprite]
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frazzled
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 6737
Loc: BC
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I had a cousin ask me "Who is the parent here? cut his hair" I said it is his choice not mine...
Some of us are still stuck in the paradigm that we control our kids. This is one example of how we can use our non-control to teach life lessons. It's also an example of how to give some power and control to the child, when the issue doesn't affect the parents. If we allow them to choose the colour of their jammies at 3, what goes into their sandwich at 5, etc, then they will be better prepared to make those tough choices as teenagers.
My paradigm is that my role as a parent is more about teaching than controlling.
_________________________
Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855718 - 11/19/08 01:01 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: Jezabelle]
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frazzled
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 6737
Loc: BC
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He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't!
What a great child you have there! I'm busting with pride for him, and I don't even know him! He's a great example for his peers!
_________________________
Having the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do.
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#855790 - 11/19/08 02:40 PM
Re: Just a general opinion question...
[Re: frazzled]
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QTsMom
Registered: 06/07/05
Posts: 3203
Loc: Ontario
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He's just so comfortable being "him", and very conscious and admiring of the differences in people. He knows that he's brown, and some people aren't. Some are tall, some are not, etc. - so I think he just sees it like that.. some boys have long hair, some don't!
What a great child you have there! I'm busting with pride for him, and I don't even know him! He's a great example for his peers!
I agree! Great kid!
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